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Women Are The Twin Halves, Partners, Helpers And Sisters Of Men



By

Imam Murtadha Gusau

Tuesday, March 05, 2019

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

All praise is for Allah. We praise Him, we seek His aid and we ask for His forgiveness. We seek Allah's refuge from the evils of ourselves and from our evil actions. Whosoever Allah guides, there is no one who can misguide him; and whosoever Allah misguides, there is no one who can guide him.

I testify that none has the right to be worshipped except Allah, alone, who has no partner; and I testify that Muhammad (Peace be upon him) is His servant and Messenger.

Respected brothers and sisters! Let me ask a serious question, please, what is equality between male and female?

Dear brothers and sisters! Know that women in Islam are equal to men in so many aspects as follows:

1. Equality in humanity

Women have feelings, personal status, and special characters. Allah the Almighty says:

"O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam)." [Surah Al-Nisa', 1]

Here in this verse, “O mankind” means men and women.

As men feel, women feel too, as men level up to values, women also do, and as men can achieve heroism, women can too. Hence, men and women are created from one soul. Allah the Most High says:

"...and from him (Adam) He created his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship). Surely, Allah is Ever an All-Watcher over you." [Surah Al-Nisa', 1]

Women are human exactly like men, and the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said in this respect:

"Women are twin halves of men."

And he also said:

"Every new-born child is born in a state of fitrah (innate). Then his parents make him a Jew, a Christian or a Magian, just as an animal is born intact. Do you observe any among them that are maimed (at birth)?" [Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Nasa'i, Abu Dawud, Ahmad and Malik]

This 'new-born' here indicates male and female.

Therefore any inferior look at the woman as less human than man is a Jahiliyyah (pre-Islamic) consideration that is not admitted in Islam. Better yet, Islam came to fight such consideration as a form of discrimination.

2. Equality in subliming

Dear brothers and sisters! Women can be righteous exactly like men, and they can be deviated like men as well. A man can be a believer or a disbeliever, and so can woman be, man can be obedient or disobedient to Allah, and so can woman be, man can be sublime and ascend and woman can be sublime and ascend too. Allah the Almighty says:

"And by Nafs (Adam or a person or a soul, etc.), and Him Who perfected him in proportion Then He showed him what is wrong for him and what is right for him." [Surah Ash-Shams, 7-8]

'Nafs' here is refers to both male and female.

"Then He showed him what is wrong for him and what is right for him." [Surah Ash-Shams, 8]

Man and woman are created so as to know by innate nature what is wrong and what is right, and to know when they do wrong and when they do right.

This is the real Islam according to its origins and resources. It is not what Muslims do nowadays; it is rather the great principles established by the noble Prophet (Peace be upon him). Allah the Most High says:

"Indeed he succeeds who purifies his ownself (i.e. obeys and performs all that Allah ordered, by following the true Faith of Islamic Monotheism and by doing righteous good deeds). And indeed he fails who corrupts his ownself (i.e. disobeys what Allah has ordered by rejecting the true Faith of Islamic Monotheism or by following polytheism, etc. or by doing every kind of evil wicked deeds)." [Surah Ash-Shams, 9-10]

This Qur'anic verse addresses both men and women. Saving one’s life is like saving all mankind, and killing one person is like killing all mankind.

Dear brothers and sisters! Woman is equal to man as a human being, and as a person who has the ability to transcend, sublime, excel, and to be looked up to.

3. Equality in dignity and honour

One other thing, woman is equal to man in dignity and honour. In Hammurabi's law that is taught in some law schools, if someone killed another person’s daughter, he ought to deliver his own daughter to be killed by that person… well, what is her fault? What is the fault committed by the killer’s daughter to be killed in revenge for the victim? The Prophet (Peace be upon him) was asked once:

"What is the worst sin in the sight of Allah? He said: “To join a partner with Allah Who created you.” The man said: then what? He said: “And to kill your children for fear of poverty.” He asked: then what? He said: “and to commit adultery with your neighbour’s wife.” [Agreed upon]

And Allah the Almighty says in the noble Qur'an:

"And when the female (infant) buried alive (as the pagan Arabs used to do) shall be questioned. For what sin she was killed?" [Surah Al-Takwir, 8-9]

And He the Most High says as well:

"And there is (a saving of) life for you in Al-Qisas (the Law of Equality in punishment), O men of understanding, that you may become Al-Muttaqun (the pious)." [Surah Al-Baqarah, 179]

Islamic law scholars legislated that a man is killed for killing a woman, because they both share the same dignity and honour.

Therefore, women are equal to men in humanity, transcendence, dignity, and honour. Moreover, our great Islam imposed a penalty of eighty whips and an eternal declined testimony on those who accuse the chaste women without bringing to testimony four witnesses on that act, unless they repent, but still, after repenting, the penalty should be carried out in this life, as it won’t be canceled by repentance, hence, it was mentioned in the Hadith:

"Slandering a chaste woman perishes the deeds of a year."

4. Equality in all religious duties

Dear brothers and sisters! Woman is not only equal to man in humanity, transcendence, and honour. She is also equal to him in having the same duties in the respect of faith pillars, not to mention all the religious duties that man is assigned to by Allah. The following are some evidences from the noble Qur'an:

"Verily, the Muslim men and women, the believing men and women, the men and the women who are obedient (to Allah), the men and women who are truthful, the men and the women who are patient, the men and the women who are humble (before their Lord Allah), the men and the women who give Sadaqah (i.e. Zakah, and alms, etc.), the men and the women who observe Saum (fast), the men and the women who guard their chastity and the men and the women who remember Allah much with their hearts and tongues, Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward (i.e. Paradise)." [Surah Al-Ahzab, 35]

If the language of this Qur'anic verse didn’t mention women, it would still be addressing men and women as well (as it addresses people in general), but Allah wanted to confirm, clarify, and perish any doubt about equality between men and women in religious duties, faith pillars, and Islamic pillars. And here is another evidence:

"Whoever works righteousness, whether male or female, while he (or she) is a true believer verily, to him We will give a good life, and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)." [Surah Al-Nahl, 97]

And the third evidence is:

"So their Lord accepted of them (their supplication and answered them), “Never will I allow to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female. You are (members) of one another." [Surah Al-Imran, 195]

5. Women are charged with special assignments

Dear brothers and sisters! Women are independent regarding responsibility to deeds and they have some special religious duties. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

"…The woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband’s house and his offspring..." [Agreed upon]

In other words, woman is independently charged with faith pillars, Islam pillars, and religious duties, and she is held responsible for any delinquency. Allah the Almighty says:

"So whosoever does good equal to the weight of an atom (or a small ant), shall see it. And whosoever does evil equal to the weight of an atom (or a small ant), shall see it." [Surah Al- Zalzalah, 7-8]

6. Equality in education and politeness

Women are equal to men in education and politeness, Allah the Most High says:

"O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded." [Surah Al-Tahrim, 6]

The word 'family' in this verse indicates the wife and the children whether daughters or sons. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) says:

"The best of what a father might give his child is the good manners."

'His child' here means male or female, also the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

"Whoever looks after two girls till they attain maturity, will come with me on the Day of Resurrection like this.” 'The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) joined his two fingers illustrating this.' [Muslim]

This is a glad tiding to all of you, whoever has two daughters whom he rears according to Islam, looks after, and be good to, is granted paradise. In another Hadith:

"There is no one who has three daughters or three sisters…"

This Hadith is critical so pay attention to, whoever has a sister under his care, and he dignifies her, honours her, and guides her to Allah’s path, will be granted paradise. A woman might be a spinster and she lives under her brother’s care, this precise Hadith is addressing this brother who is in charge for her, and he will be granted paradise if he dignifies, rears, and guides her to the right path of Allah. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) says:

"There is no one who has three daughters, or three sisters, and he treats them well, but Allah will admit him/her to Paradise." [Tirmidhi, Al-Nasa'i, Abu Dawud, and Ibn Majah]

7. Equality in knowledge, individual duty, and collective duty

Dear brothers and sisters! Woman also equals man in seeking knowledge, individual duties, and in collective duty, and since she is charged with faith pillars, Islam pillars, and religious duties, she can’t carry out all that without knowledge, and for that reason, Allah the Almighty says:

"And say: My Lord! Increase me in knowledge.” [Surah Taha, 114]

This Qur'anic verse is recited by boys and girls, men and women, and seeking knowledge is an individual duty that is enjoined on every Muslim whether male or female. 

Dear respected brothers and sisters! The Prophet (Peace be upon him) says:

"He who has a daughter and who teaches her good manners and improves her education and then manumits and marries her, will get a double reward; and any one of the people of the Scripture who believes in his Prophet and Me, will get a double reward; and any servant who observes Allah’s right and his master’s right will get a double reward." [Agreed upon]

Urwah Ibn Al-Zubair described his aunt Aisha (may Allah be pleased with them both) saying:

"I have never met anyone who is more knowledgeable in Fiqh (Islamic legislation), medicine, and poetry than Aisha May Allah be pleased with her."

Lot of Hadiths were narrated by the mothers of believers (The Prophet’s wives), and there are a lot of sayings referred to them in Qur'an’s interpretation and Hadith’s jurisprudence, not to mention all the women who learned, recited and memorised the Qur'an.

8. Equality in holding on to morals

Dear brothers and sisters! Women are ordered like man to hold on to morals either in their apparent behaviour, pure intentions, or in the clean heart. Allah the Most High says:

"So whoever hopes for the Meeting with his Lord, let him work righteousness and associate none as a partner in the worship of his Lord." [Surah Al-Kahf, 110]

This verse refers to male or female. 

Some people say: Behind every problem look for a woman, whereas Islam says: Behind every problem look for the sin, because all adversities, calamities and tribulations on earth occur as a result of deviation from Allah’s path due to ignorance which is the worst enemy of mankind.

One of the Prophet’s wives was jealous (which is a character of women) and she said: ‘It’s bad enough that Safiyyah is such and such. (Some of narrators said: she is short).’ He said:

“You have said a word which could spoil the sea water if mixed with it." [Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, and Ahmad]

How dignified woman is in Islam! When this wife mocked her because she is short, the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said to her:

"You have said a word which could spoil the sea water if mixed with it."

Dear brothers and sisters! Women are in charge of their hearts in respect of faith, hypocrisy, sincerity, or duplicity, of their tongues in respect of truthfulness and lying, and of their organs in respect of obedience and committing sins. Hence, women are equal to men in the obligation towards having a pure heart and good intentions, and towards watching the tongue and the actions.

9. Equality in the six fundamentals

Dear brothers and sisters! Women are equal to men in their obligation towards maintaining the six fundamentals for which Islam has come. Islam is established on maintaining those six fundamentals, and whoever violates any of them, is punished by a certain penalty (Hadd) that is mentioned in the noble Qur'an and is detailed in the Sunnah.

Shari’ah (Islamic Law), as you know, is all about interests, mercy, and justice, and every case overpasses justice to injustice, interests to corruption, and mercy to harshness, is not part of Shari’ah even if it was justified by thousands of interpretations.

The six fundamentals are religion, soul, mind, honour, wealth, and security, and whoever violates any of them, whether male or female will be punished with a certain penalty that is mentioned in Qur'an and detailed in Sunnah. Allah the Almighty says:

"Cut off (from the wrist joint) the (right) hand of the thief, male or female, as a recompense for that which they committed, a punishment by way of example from Allah. And Allah is All-Powerful, All-Wise." [Surah Al-Maidah, 38]

The one who drinks wine, whether male or female, should be whipped eighty times.

Whoever commits adultery will be punished by whipping or stoning, Allah the Almighty says:

"The woman and the man guilty of illegal sexual intercourse, flog each of them with a hundred stripes." [Surah Al-Nur, 2]

And in taking somebody’s life, Allah the Most High says:

"And there is (a saving of) life for you in Al-Qisas (the Law of Equality in punishment), O men of understanding, that you may become Al-Muttaqun (the pious)." [Surah Al-Baqarah, 179]

This Qisas (the law of equality in punishment) is for men and women alike. As for security, the recompense of those who wage war against Allah and His Messenger and do mischief in the land is that they shall be killed, crucified or a hand and a foot are cut off on the opposite sides.

10. Equality in calling to Allah (Da'awah)

Dear brothers and sisters! Islam also makes men and women equal in calling to Allah. Thereby, every woman should pass her knowledge to other women, and should spread this religion, because Allah the Almighty says:

"By Al-Asr (the time). Verily! Man is in loss, Except those who believe (in Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth, and recommend one another to patience." [Surah Al-Asr]

When revelation came to the Prophet (Peace be upon him)  and he said to Khadijah:

"I fear that something may happen to me.” 

She replied:

“Never! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your Kith and kin, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guests generously and assist the deserving calamity-afflicted ones."

What does that mean? It means that she was with the Prophet (Peace be upon him) in his mission.

The first Martyr in Islam was a woman, namely Sumayyah and her husband Yasir who were killed in the line of their commitment to their belief, and because they held on to this righteous religion. Hence, women also call to Allah and spread this religion in the field suitable for them and within the permissible limits.

11. Equality in inheritance

Dear brothers and sisters! Men and women are equal in inheritance, Allah the Most High says:

"There is a share for men and a share for women from what is left by parents and those nearest related, whether, the property be small or large – a legal share." [Surah Al-Nisa', 7]

She is equal to him in inheritance, but in regard of the Qur'anic verse that says: “the male will have twice the share of the female“, that is a totally different issue that have been In Shaa Allah elaborated in some of my previous sermons.

12. Equality in transactions (like in contract)

Men and women are equal in all kinds of transactions such as: signing a contract, buying, selling, donating, almsgiving, lending, or signing a guaranty act.

Thus, women are equal to men in a lot of things such as: signing contracts, transactions, inheritance, calling to Allah, seeking knowledge, being charged with faith pillars, Islam pillars, religious duties, obligation towards purifying the heart, having the good intentions, watching the tongue, in individual duties, in collective duties, in politeness, in education, in believing in Allah, in dignity, in creation, and she is fully equal to him in humanity.

Hence, all the texts I have mentioned from the Qur'an and Sunnah indicate that the woman is a human being in the full sense of the word, and she is completely equal to man.

* Male is not like female

Woman equals man in humanity, creation, dignity, religious duties, education, rearing, morals, responsibilities, consequences, and transactions. However, Allah the Almighty says:

"And the male is not like the female." [Surah Al-Imran, 36]

1. Difference between man and woman is for integration

It is true that woman equals man in a lot of issues. Yet, her physical and mental structure is different from man’s, and this kind of difference doesn’t mean that she is inferior but it means integration (between the two genders). This difference between man and woman makes them repose to each other, complement each other, and it is the secret of affection and mercy which Allah created between the couples.

2. Differences are between two genders not two individuals

Dear brothers and sisters! Talking about differences between male and female or between man and woman, is a trial to tackle the differences between two genders not two individuals, because as an individual, a woman might excel a man professionally and vice versa, but now we are talking about the differences between two genders.

Sometimes you find a woman with ruthless heart and a man with flaming emotions (out of normal nature). However, there are differences between male and female in general.

3. Differences are related to biological functions

It is a fact that there are physical differences between women and men. These differences help them match the functions that each of them is charged with, and there is a profound wisdom and a great mercy in the differences and distinctive features that the Creator installed in the two genders.

4. Exceptions are meant to show the value of the usual

If that rule had exceptions, that would be (for a profound wisdom) to show the value of the usual. Usual things that have no exceptions don’t attract attention.

Following is an example from our life; cows sometimes get infected with diseases which turn them into wild animals that might attack and kill human who is obliged (in these cases) to put an end to their lives losing their valuable cost. This exceptional case reminds us of the blessing that Allah subdued these creatures to us:

"And We have subdued them unto them." [Surah Yasin, 72]

When we see an exception in this life, we should know that it is meant to show us the value of the normal thing, and to acknowledge the blessings that Allah bestowed on His servants.

5. Physical differences

According to scientists, women have special physical features suitable for the functions they are assigned to by Allah. They have glands that don’t exist in men; these glands give them feminine characters like smooth skin, nice voice, shyness, and vulnerability.

Moreover, women in general (with a few exceptions) are shorter (by 10 centimeter) than men in all races, and the skeleton of a woman is lighter than that of a man, which makes her less able to move and go around than him. The muscles of women are weaker than those of men by about one third, but her cellular tissue is richer of vessels and sensory nerves which allow her to store fat that gives her the form of her body.

Man’s brain is heavier than that of woman by 100 grams. The ratio of man’s brain to his body is one to forty while the ratio of woman’s brain to her body is one to forty four, and her brain’s convolutions (irregular ridges on the surface of the brain) are less in number and order than men’s. Whereas the part of comprehension is smaller in women’s brain, the center of emotions is more effective than that in men. The lung’s capacity in women is less than that of men, her respiration is faster, her heart is smaller, but her pulse is faster. Allah the Almighty says:

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." [Surah Al-Rum, 21]

This weakness and these attractive characters make men repose to women. Tackling the differences between women and men is a long topic, but I chose some of the differences to talk about which is better than leaving the topic altogether.

6. Psychological differences

Women tend to beautify themselves (putting make up and the like). There are Psychological differences between men and women as follows:

1. In emotions

Women’s emotions are stronger than men’s. Thus, they have more ability to take care of children, parents, brothers, and sisters. Their emotions can be arisen faster than men’s. This characteristic is suitable for women’s first mission which is to bring up her children and provide them with high emotions as well as with milk.

A woman came to the Prophet (Peace be upon him) and said to him:

"O Messenger of Allah, my husband took me as a wife when I was young, beautiful, and wealthy, and now that I got old, out of shape, my family are scattered, and my wealth is gone, he said to me: You are to me like my mother, and I have children from him. If I leave them they will be lost, and if I take them they will be hungry."

2. In will

Woman’s will is weaker than man’s, as she is so demanding yet forgetful, she walks away from what she wants, she is moody, and she hesitates a lot.

Thus, she is less cohesive, less determined, and less firm than man. The question to be ask here is: What is the wisdom behind all that? These characters match her mission. Had women had the same characters as men, they would have been in disagreement which leads to divorce. All these characters in women are meant to be suitable for her mission as a wife, a mother, and an educator for her kids and for the Ummah (Nation).

A woman’s relation to her children is based on tenderness, love and passion. Because children’s minds are emotional and desire oriented. Women can’t deal with children with weak emotion and stubborn will. That’s why mothers are usually closer to their children than fathers.

3. In braveness

Men and women differ in braveness too. Women are usually less brave than men, and because of that they follow familiar ways and jobs that are in harmony with their nature, and that is because the woman is a mother, daughter, sister and a wife, and we should not forget about the role of protectiveness and maintenance that is assigned to men in the family, Allah the Most High says:

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means." [Surah Al- Nisa', 34]

Woman is less impulsive than man who is molded to be initiative, explorer, cruiser for the unknown, and creative in such aspects, and he is supported by the woman who pushes him forward as she doesn’t have his braveness.

7. Religious differences

There are religious differences between man and woman as follows:

1. Moral and cultural responsibility

Allah the Almighty assigned man to a moral responsibility for his family, Allah the Almighty says:

"O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded." [Surah Al-Tahrim, 6]

Dear respected brothers and sisters!

"Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell)." [Surah Al-Tahrim, 6]

Some Qur'anic interpreters said: 

"Order them to leave sins and perform acts of worship, and by doing so you are warding off hellfire from them."

Whereas, other interpreters said:

"The word 'families' includes the wife and children."

Umar, May Allah be pleased with him, asked the Prophet (Peace be upon him) about the interpretation of this verse, so the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

"To prevent them from what is forbidden by Allah, and order them to do what is enjoined by Allah and by that you will be warding them off from fire."

This is the meaning of the verse, and according to it, every believer is assigned to ward off hellfire from his family by ordering them of performing acts of worship and forbidding them from committing sins. Hence, Imam Ali, May Allah be pleased with him, said:

"Teach yourselves and your families the good and rear them."

Some scholars concluded that man should seek knowledge in general, and should seek all the knowledge needed to rear his wife and kids in particular, how so? How to ward off hellfire from the family? What is necessary to complete the Fard (obligatory duty), is a duty itself, what completes a Wajib (mandatory), is a mandatory itself, and what completes a Sunnah is Sunnah, hence, if Allah ordered you to ward off hellfire from your family by guiding them to Allah’s path, ordering them to be obedient, and prohibiting them from sinning, that requires that you abide by all that yourself. It was said in the noble Hadith:

"Let Allah have mercy on the man who said: O my family, pray, fast, perform Zakah, take care of the wretched, the orphans, and take care of your neighbour, perhaps Allah will put you together in paradise (by doing all that)."

Allah might reunion man with his family in paradise if he ordered them and they responded, and he prohibited them and they were prohibited. Allah the Almighty says:

"Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell)." [Surah Al-Tahrim, 6]

So parents have great responsibility in raising their children, the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

"Neglecting one’s own dependents is a reason enough for a man to commit a sin." [Muslim, Abu Dawud and Ahmad]

The Hadith indicates that it isn’t enough to provide your children with food, money, and sustenance, it is more important to acquaint them with Allah’s orders and prohibitions, follow up on their religious duties, and make sure they don’t commit sins.

2. Spending

Dear brothers and sisters! Man is assigned by Allah to religious, moral, and ethical responsibilities towards his family, in addition to his responsibility to spend on them. Thus, it was said: seeking sustenance is obligatory after the religious duties. In other words, after fulfilling your religious duties, you are demanded of another duty, which is to seek sustenance and to make a living.

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) touched the hand of Ibn Mas'ud once and found it so rough because of hard work, so he raised it and said to His companions:

"Allah and his Messenger love this hand (i.e. indicating that Allah and his messenger love those who work hard."

Spending on wife and kids and providing them with their needs of food, drink, house, and clothes, is an essential responsibility within man’s available income and is considered as an act of worship. Basically, any permissible handcraft practiced in permissible ways to sustain yourself and your family and of which you spend on the poor and serve Muslims without leaving your religious duties, is considered as an act of worship. Some scholars said: If permissible matters were accompanied with good intentions they will turn into acts of worship. Allah the Almighty says:

"Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allah will grant after hardship, ease." [Surah Al-Talaq, 7]

And in another verse Allah the Most High says:

"...but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis." [Surah Al-Baqarah, 233]

This is the religious difference between man and woman, as Allah assigned man to religious, moral, and ethical responsibilities, and assigned him to spend on his wife and children. It is considered as an act of worship to make a living in order to spend on your family.

8. Perfection lies in the differences

Dear brothers and sisters! I want to draw your attention to an important fact. Having stronger emotions and weaker psychological and mental ability is considered perfection for women, and the opposite is also true for men.

Think of the difference between cars and trucks in respect of distributing functional areas. The car has more space for passengers while the truck has more space for goods. The area of each is perfect for the purpose it is made for.

Hence, when we say “women lack something” we don’t accuse her of imperfection. Rather, it is perfection itself. Having stronger emotions, passion, caring, and less interest in general issues, less courage, and weaker will is perfection for women. It is that difference that makes women attractive and satisfying for men.

9. Differences serve marital life

Dear brothers and sisters! It is a long issue, but highlighting a few aspects of it is better than leaving it altogether. It is true that men and women are equal in responsibility and honour, but we should not neglect the difference between men and women. This is very important as it confirms the sacred mission that women are assigned to. It is the difference that attracts man to woman to find ease, it is the difference that attunes man to woman, and it is the difference that makes each of them completes the other.

The closest things to man’s life are his job and his wife. You either have a good or a bad choice, but it is never too late to have a good wife. If you reform yourself and ask Allah to guide your wife, He will- most probably- answer you and make her a comfort for you. Moreover, Allah says that if man chooses a good wife, guides her to Allah’s path, and orders her to obey Allah and His messenger, Allah will reward him in the worldly life before the hereafter, but what is the reward? His wife and kids will be the comfort of his eyes. Allah the Almighty says:

"And those who say: “Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun (the pious)." [Surah Al-Furqan, 74]

Dear brothers and sisters! All these words, texts, and facts are quoted from Allah’s method. Allah the Most High says:

"And none can inform you (O Muhammad) like Him Who is the All-Knower (of each and everything)." [Surah Fatir, 14]

Who has the best knowledge of marital life? Who is the
One who molded, organised, and gave every gender his/her physical, mental psychological, and social characters? Who made each gender complete the other? The answer to all these questions is: Allah the Most High.

When humanity is lost, when it goes astray, and looks for the way, they must get back to Allah’s book, to the best method, to the right path, to the Creator’s instructions, to the knowledge of the All-knower.

The particular characteristics of woman in her heart, sensation system, brain, skeleton, height, or weight, is the very reason that makes her loved to man who reposes to her. I would like to mention three Qur'anic verses here:

"And among His Ayat (proofs, evidences, lessons, signs, etc.) is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and whatever moving (living) creatures He has dispersed in them both." [Surah Ash-Shura, 29]

"And from among His Signs are the night and the day, and the sun and the moon." [Surah Fussilat, 37]

"And among His Signs is the sleep that you take by night and by day, and your seeking of His Bounty." [Surah Al-Rum, 23]

Allah the Almighty also says:

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." [Surah Al-Rum, 21]

This affection and mercy between husband and wife are created by Allah, and it is the foundation of marital relation, losing them would result to dangerous problems.

Dear brothers and sisters! As long as man is alive and has the chance he should reform himself and the closest people to him (his wife) and should ward off hellfire from his children by rearing them, offering them advice, guiding them, and encouraging them to seek knowledge.

I am pretty sure that any problem on earth, be it small or big, individual, collective or massive, is a result of deviation from Allah’s method, which is a result of ignorance.

* Islamic orders in treating women

Dear brothers and sisters! The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

"The best of you is the best for his family and I am the best for my family." [Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and ad-Darimi]

And he also said:

"Only an honourable man treats women with honour and integrity. And only a mean man humiliates women." [Ibn Asakir and Al-Jami’ Al-Sagir]

And the Prophet (Peace be upon him) addressed women by saying to one of them:

"O woman, be sure, you and all women that being a good wife to your husband equals Jihad (fighting) in the cause of Allah." [Baihaqi]

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) was used to be bright-faced and smiling when entering his house, and He described women by saying:

"They are the precious and the source of pleasure."

* Ignorance is the worst enemy of the truth

This is the true religion that the Prophet (Peace be upon him) came with. We should take Islam from its resources not from the lives of Muslims which might not be in harmony with Allah’s path, nor from the tributaries which came from western cultures to distort Islam. Allah the Almighty says:

"This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion." [Surah Al-Maidah, 3]

Every issue we need, were completely addressed by Islam, and detailed in its method, and in the Qur'an. Our duty now is to learn and seek knowledge.

It is naivety, and narrow mindedness to accuse something without knowing it and trying to comprehend it, following the right path to acquaint it, and taking it from its resources.

If you want to know Islam, you have the Qur'an and the Sunnah of the Prophet (Peace be upon him), and you have the biography of his Companions who followed him with full reception, comprehension, and righteousness. Allah the Almighty says:

"Say (O Muhammad): “This is my way; I invite unto Allah (i.e. to the Oneness of Allah – Islamic Monotheism) with sure knowledge, I and whosoever follows me (also must invite others to Allah i.e to the Oneness of Allah – Islamic Monotheism) with sure knowledge. And Glorified and Exalted be Allah (above all that they associate as partners with Him). And I am not of the Mushrikun (polytheists, pagans, idolaters and disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah; those who worship others along with Allah or set up rivals or partners to Allah).” [Surah Yusuf, 108]

One should never judge Islam before becoming familiar and acquainted with it. Seeking knowledge is an individual duty on every Muslim and is your way to sublime. If you want worldly life, you need to seek knowledge, if you want the hereafter, you need to seek knowledge, and if you need both, you need to seek knowledge.

There are two kinds of knowledge, there is the knowledge that entertains you, and the knowledge that benefits to you. Knowledge of Allah’s orders and prohibition is an entertaining and beneficial knowledge, and it grants happiness in the worldly life and the hereafter alike.

Most kinds of science stop with death, whereas religious knowledge lasts even after death forever and ever, as it is the real knowledge. The prudent is he who knows Allah, knows the reason behind his own existence, and knows the purpose of his existence.

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) and his Companions passed by an insane man, so He asked them (knowing the answer): “Who is this?” They replied: He is an insane person. He answered: “This man is afflicted, but the insane is he who disobeys Allah.”

In another incident, the Prophet (Peace be upon him) entered the Mosque and ran into a genealogist, so he asked (knowing the answer), “Who is he?” They replied: he is a genealogist, and he asked again: “What is the genealogist?” They answered: he is the one who knows people’s ancestors, so the Prophet (Peace be upon him) commented: “That is a kind of knowledge that is not beneficial to the one who learns it, and is not harmful to those who are ignorant of it.”

Hence, the Prophet (Peace be upon him) used to supplicate by saying:

"O Allah, I seek refuge with you from useless knowledge, a heart that is not humble to you, an eye that does not cry, and a soul that does not get satisfied, and I seek refuge with you from those four."

Dear brothers and sisters! Seeking knowledge confirms the humanity of man.

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, the Ever-Living, Who does not die, and Peace and Blessings be upon our beloved Prophet, Muhammad and upon all his family and Companions.

Imam Murtadha Muhammad Gusau sent this piece from Okene, Kogi State, Nigeria. He can be reached via: gusaumurtada@gmail.com or +2348038289761.
Women Are The Twin Halves, Partners, Helpers And Sisters Of Men Women Are The Twin Halves, Partners, Helpers And Sisters Of Men Reviewed by Independent Hajj Reporters on 07:58 Rating: 5

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